How to support A Loved One who have Fibromyalgia

 How to support A Loved One with fibromyalgia

Nowadays there are many options available to handle problems with fibromyalgia. We can easily find various forums online where people share their day to day experiences and that becomes helpful for another person who come across such situation.

If your loved one is suffering from the symptoms of fibromyalgia, there are various ways in which you can support the person.

You should be able to provide a secure feeling to them saying that you are with them when they cross such tough roads. It may look different and not convincing to you if your loved one explains about continuous problems.

It is true that you will not be able to understand their pain unless your experience it by yourself, but what you can do is you can give them strength by speaking positive words to them and by motivating them.

Understand that the pain that they undergo is real

Some people have the habit of thinking that their loved one is just saying that as an excuse, without understanding the pain that the affected person undergoes.

It may look silly but clinically there is no proper procedure available to diagnose the cause of fibromyalgia.

From the look of it, the affected person will just be normal but they will have all the problems in their body. In that case it is the duty of the loved one to take care of them and strengthen them by saying motivating words.

If you understand and acknowledge that their pain is real, it may not help them but it will be able to provide them a secure feeling and mental comfort.

Painful situation changes

For some people fibromyalgia is found to be seasonal or changing. Affected individuals might experience pain only during the night time and some people will experience the pain only during the day time. So the situation changes.

It is necessary to understand that fibromyalgia symptoms are seasonal and can be changing and provide the necessary support when required. The fluctuation of pain symptoms can happen even in hours.

The person may look normal for the past 2 hours but suddenly they will find pain in their body. Understanding that the painful situation can change, you will be able to provide them proper support and you will also be able to stay with them and provide a helping hand.

Don’t compare with others

Usually the symptoms of fibromyalgia will differ from one person to another person. As a loved one, you should be able to understand the problem specific to your friend, partner, spouse etc. and help them.

Comparing with others may not be helpful. In most of the cases the other person might have capability to do something that your loved one find difficult.

In such cases you should keep motivating them instead of comparing because there will also be cases where your loved one will be able to do something that others can’t do. Most of the fibromyalgia patients will not like them being compared with others.

Talk for them

Fibromyalgia patients expect their loved ones to talk for them. There are people who will find it difficult to understand that they actually have some problem in their body.

In that case be an advocate for them and talk for them to the necessary people. Explain them the symptoms of fibromyalgia and the difficulty your loved one have in handling it.

When they find that there is someone who believes them or understands them, it will give them good peace in their mind. There can also be frustrations in explaining about their problem to everyone.

Sometimes they might even act rude. In that case you can be their voice and explain their problems and pain to others. By doing this you will be able to provide good support to them.

Stop giving advice if they don’t like

Some people have the habit of providing advice to fibromyalgia patients. Their intention may be good but it might not be very comfortable for the affected person.

Some advice given to them can also be disturbing. Usually fibromyalgia patients will have their own set of rules or do’s and don’ts’ in order to handle their condition.

If you start giving advices, it may look as if you are overriding something that they already have. People think that it will be very helpful if they provide some guidance to the affected individual in the form of advice. It may not work for everyone.

Communicate more with them

Understanding their problem comes out of communication. Have frequent communication with your loved one. Listen to them carefully and make sure you provide good strength to them.

Sometimes the words that you utter to them will be very helpful in them understanding the care and affection that you show towards them.

There have been cases where people lack communication and that can lead to further complications in the relationship.

Fibromyalgia patients will have a feeling that their loved one is not understanding them well. That can also be because the communication is not happening properly between them. Any problem in life can easily be sorted with the help of proper communication and understanding.

Provide a helping hand

There can be some tasks that fibromyalgia patients might find difficult to do due to their body conditions. It may be a case where they would have done it without any problem in the past but due to the fibromyalgia pain, they might find it difficult to do going forward.

In that case you should be able to understand their problem and provide a helping hand to them when they actually need you. In some relationships people will not express it to their loved ones. But you can understand from their actions and provide a helping hand.

It is also your duty to not make your loved ones feel a bit low because they have become incapable of doing that task by themselves.

There are lots of other things that you can do every day to hold their hand when they need you. They will not look for a cure from you for their problem, but all they will look for is the love that you continue to pour on them in spite of them having all such problems.

4 Comments

  • It is true that one needs to be very understanding with fibromyalgia patients and not blame them for not being able to do some things they have been doing very well before, this is a big issue with my cousin and her husband, he is finding it difficult to cope with the fact that she can no longer prepare home made meals like she used to without any assistance or support from anybody. He some times insinuates she acting out deliberately and this is affecting their relationship.

  • These are helpful tips. Fibromyalgia is something a lot of people don’t know much about. Actually, many can barely pronounce it! In some cases, I can see why a family member or friend may think the person with fibromyalgia is faking. This is why it’s important that we listen to them. We don’t have to treat them like an outcast. These tips will help bridge the gap and encourage more compassion towards those living with fibromyalgia.

  • My husband has become adjusted to the fact that I don’t care about doing housework or even thinking about cooking a meal. I don’t think he understands how my pain fluctuates daily,hourly,and weekly. When I feel obligated to attend or host a social function,he doesn’t recognize when I let him know that I need to go home or just be alone so as not to have to explain about how much pain I am in.

  • I feel my partner thinks I am lazy when I get home from work. If I do too much I have a migraine that effects the whole of my face . When this happens he ignores me and seems to resent me not spending time with him. I feel hopeless and depressed. He is always looking for a solution to the issues when all I can do is lay in a dark room

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